No Dancing: the ultimate crazy church rule

Posted by Matt Lane on November 21st, 2010 filed in Christian Living, Church

My previous post on crazy church rules attracted a lot of  readers. With more careful thought, I discovered that I left out the most important rule:  NO DANCING. And it deserves a post all by itself.

You see, dancing is the cardinal sin. From dancing, all other sins erupt. You can even get pregnant dancing! The devil invented dancing and anything that makes you want to move your hips or bounce around is of the devil too. You did see Footloose right? Rid-ic-u-lous.

So with that all in mind, I had an epiphany recently when I was at a wedding. At this wedding there was a lot of Baptists or possibly recovering Baptists because the dance floor actually had people on it. But only during the chicken song and the cha cha slide because those songs are safe and are included in the list of Stuff Christians Like.

Anyway, there is a stereotype out there about pastors and religious people being fat. Like really fat. And as we all know, there is a little bit of truth (or maybe a lot) in most stereotypes. Check out the bad religious channels on TV if you don’t believe me.

My epiphany was that there should be more preaching for dancing instead of against it. One guy even said that many guys will preach about alcohol and drugs but never about gravy. Hmmm…and then I thought, if more pastors would preach that dancing was good instead of evil, not only would they stop closet dancers from feeling guilty, they would also be encouraging people to lose weight! How ’bout that for a double whammy!

So come on, get your groove on!

In the words of Ren, “Ecclesiastes assures us… that there is a time for every purpose under heaven. A time to laugh… and a time to weep. A time to mourn… and there is a time to dance. And there was a time for this law, but not anymore. See, this is our time to dance. It is our way of celebrating life. It’s the way it was in the beginning. It’s the way it’s always been. It’s the way it should be now.”

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