Let’s shatter a myth shall we?
What is the purpose of dating? Society will tell you that it is to find a soul mate. People will tell you it is to test the waters and to learn how life works. Some people will even go as far to say you need experience before you get married and you are stupid if you don’t have any experience. Still others will ridicule you and pressure you to date. What I want to say is that it is all bunk, a myth.
Movies, TV and print media all work together to present this false idea that people have to repeatedly give parts of their hearts out in order to find “the one”. If you think the collusion is not real, think again. They all make billions of dollars perpetuating this idea. If they would allow the idea to die out, they lose money. I’m not joking, this is about money, never forget that. Sure it is how many people believe but don’t be fooled, there are better ways but those ways don’t make people money and in the end, money rules.
The collusion between different media outlets (movies, tv, print) is worth a discussion all by itself but I will spare you the details now. Suffice to say that most people do not know they are being influenced to act a certain way and just swallow what is fed to them, hook, line and sinker. The influence is real, devastating and many times deadly.
Okay so what do I think of dating? I believe that God has set some things up very clearly in scriptures. Because of being raised with Christ we are to guard ourselves from certain physical acts (Col 3:1-17), become imitators of God (Eph 5:1) and to worship God alone (Luke 4:7-9). It is so difficult to do those things when you have boy/girlfriend after boy/girlfriend. I have never seen anyone keep God’s commandments and have these relationships as the world defines them. It really is impossible. The two clash because they start from two so very different foundations. God’s foundation is that we are to worship him with every part of our body, our heart and our soul. The world’s foundation is to worship yourself and do what you think is best and what benefits you the most. The two could not be farther from each other.
So dating is then not an end to itself. It cannot be. Dating awakes passions and desires that are meant for marriage alone. Giving out so much of yourself before marriage sets you up for years of hardships. Dating then is a process to confirm someone is a potential marriage partner. Yes I really mean that. Dating is a precursor to marriage and not for teenagers to experience life with. I do not believe that people should date until they are ready for marriage. Dating without marriage in mind is exactly what the media wants you to believe it is: Live for the moment because you deserve to have someone to spend some time with and you deserve to have your needs fulfilled. God says, I gave you my son, why is that not enough, why are you rejecting me? It boils down to a worship problem. An idolatry problem. Commandment number one.
The bottom line is this: Dating under the framework that God has ordained is incredible. Dating outside his framework leads to heartache after heartache because it requires you to give out your heart too many times and God never intended for that to happen. Dating has been hijacked by the devil and people of all types are living lives with horrific consequences.
Call me old fashion, a throwback, chauvinistic, a cave man, whatever. If our goal as Christians is to live Christ-like, shouldn’t that apply to dating as well?
I can’t express how grateful i’m for this article.For along long time,i have been looking for an article that talks about God’s mind on dating,because alot of it is happening in the church today,even among very young kids.Even those who have condemned it could not offer convising proof.As a youth leader,im so blessed that now I can save both myself and my listeners from this lie that claims many souls in the church.i would appreciate it if ypou could send more ofsuch articles to me…
Thanks for the comments. While many of the ideas are mine and the passion comes from current events, I was also give a lot to think about by a book called “What He Must Be”. I reviewed it very briefly here: http://www.lanewaves.com/?now_reading_author=voddie-t-baucham-jr&now_reading_title=what-he-must-be-if-he-wants-to-marry-my-daughter
[...] how that ends too many times. Oh, and don’t get me started on how bad most Christians date. I posted about that already [...]