“Hoochi mama: A girl or lady that dresses trashy and revealing her body to the utmost. Tight and skimpy clothing.”

Brayden and I spent 3 1/2 hours waiting in line for the Lyon St water slide on Saturday. And I have to say, there was more than one time where I wanted to cover his eyes. And mine. That might sound prudish but so be it. My eyes only need to see that much skin from my wife. Geesh.

Thankfully Brayden is only 8 and not fully aware of….um, hoochi mamas. I mean, I know he is aware of girls but he is mostly very innocent right now.

But honestly, are there any fathers or husbands who cheer  their wives or daughters on to reveal more cleavage and more of their back side? All fathers look forward to the day when their little princess wears so little clothing that guys care less about their brains but simple want to oogle their bodies. All fathers right?

Why is it that a high percentage of girls want to show skin as an act of rebellion? Are there no other fathers out there that cringe when there own kids wear things that are even borderline and are completely mortified if it goes beyond that? Are there no other fathers that get disgusted when pre-teen girls (not to mention all the other ages) wear string bikinis and just want to punch these girl’s fathers in the throat?

Okay so some girls know what they are doing and try to manipulate. I get it. But some have not been taught and that really ticks me off. And then there are others, who have been taught but think that its okay. Way to go, make your parents proud.

Fathers and guys of all ages, man up. If you think that your daughter/girlfriend/fiance/wife is sexy and it’s okay for her to show skin like she is some kind of trophy or that it is cute/beautiful/expressive/etc, you are a fool. Love them and tell them all to put some freakin clothes on. For the good of all of us.

This subject makes me sick to my stomach.

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When I’m driving down the road, why can’t other people drive fast in the fast lane, pay attention and not cut me off, and understand that I have somewhere to go unlike them? Is that too much to ask for?

When I go to the doctor’s office, why do I have to wait even though I have an appointment? Why is my time not just as important theirs? Is that too much to ask for?

The jerk cable guy, the phone guy who shows up when he feels like it, the rude secretary, the grump cashier at Mejier , the unhelpful Home Depot guy. This list is endless. Why can’t these people go crawl in a hole where they belong instead of living to tick me off?

I deserve to be treated well and if I don’t you will hear about it. It is a right of mine and I will complain loudly if I am crossed even slightly. I have rights. God given rights. I don’t care who you are, I have rights.

The problem with all of my thinking this way, is that I couldn’t find any of these rights in the Bible. I have looked. And looked some more. What I did find is living peaceable, sacrificial living, being generous, laying my life down for others and dying to self.

Crap. So why do I think I have all of these rights?

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I admit it, I’m a small control freak and like to be in the know.

Unfortunately, life is just not that simple. The reality is that I am in control of little and manage just a few things.

So  what do you do when you did not choose, did not decide nor want to wade through junk? It seems a fact of life that some things you choose and some things others choose for you. It’s a rare person that lives in such a silo that the things that they decide don’t impact anyone else. Especially if it is a child, parent, or friend choosing for you.

What I mean by choosing for you is that when they make major life decisions that are  stupid, irresponsible, sinful or hurtful and you out of love or obligation cannot just sit on the sidelines. When what they have chosen has a direct impact on your life. When what they have decided to do forces you to live in their wake of brokenness and forces you to make very hard decisions yourself. Hmm, wait a minute, I think I have done this to people.

Paul Tripp says, “God will take you where you do not want to go in order to produce in you what you could not achieve on your own.”

I totally agree with that statement but where God wants us to go is often excruciating. Ever been in this spot?

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We have always made this part of the training of our younger kids. I think it has had the following effects:

1. Protects our time at the table as a family; no one goes running off until we are all done.
2. Promotes respect and honor to us (their parents).
3. Helps to ensure they clean their plates. Mostly.
4. Nobody leaves the table without taking care of their own dishes.

I’m sure there are other things. All of those are biggies though.

Anyone else require this of their kids or are we just medieval tyrants?

Growing up my family always ate together. I’m not sure if it was done intentionally or if that was just how things were done. Either way, I think it was helpful and we have carried on the tradition of eating together as a family as much as possible. That I AM somewhat of a tyrant about. Okay maybe not somewhat.

At any rate, eating together and making sure the kids stay at the table by making them ask to be excused has really worked well for us.

How about you?

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I have said this to several people lately but then I have wondered if I should have explained myself.

You see, I can say lots of things. And anyone who knows me knows that I do. But this goes for everyone. You can say things all day long. But if you don’t back them up with action? Fuggedaboutit.

People can say they care, that they love you, that they wish you well. But if their actions say otherwise, they are simply giving you lip service and really that is just a nice way to say they are lying to you.

On the other hand, if you never say some words, it can cheapen your actions. If I never say the words “I love you” to my wife, I’m going to have problems. Quickly. But again, I can’t say I love her and then never spend any time with her, never think about her and never serve her.

My point is you and I need both. And we need to do both.

God has done both. He has told us he loved us. And then he backed it up with the sacrifice of his Son. Words and action. You might not like it that God loves you but you might as well face the reality* and you can deny it but that doesn’t make it less true.

The same goes for us. Use words and then prove your words with actions. Make them reality. If you don’t, you just have cheap words.

(*taken from a sermon from Matt Chandler)

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Well reality happens and given that people are sinful by nature, parents get divorced. People of all circles, of all backgrounds, rich people, poor people. I’m not saying it is good or that it should happen, just that it does.

Inevitably, the kids involved get stuck. Sometimes the parents get told by the judge what to do and they are stuck too. It gets messy quick like. Many times there are no good answers and especially no happy answers.

But given all that, I want to point out something quite ridiculous: who in their right mind thought up the current custody guidelines? Let’s see, to help kids have a stable life, lets toss them between households on the weekends, or every other weekend, and also every other holiday. Oh  yeah, and 9 weeks in the summer too. Switch back and forth. Fair to everyone that way.

Huh???  What quack came up with that? Again, I recognize that people land in the current setup and have no choice. My own background is a testament of some of that. But still, why does anyone think that is a good idea?

I wonder, if you took puppies and did that ping pong thing what the outcome would be? Yes many would be okay and live good decent lives. And just like kids, many would also be very scarred for their entire lives.

Call me crazy, but it seems very, very ridiculous.

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Way back from the beginning he dreaded it.

He tried to ward it off but couldn’t stop.

Desperately he cried out, “How long oh Lord?”

Deliberately and decisively she picked and chose.

She ran to it with glee.

The prowl had been successful.

“I’m finally in charge”, she exclaimed.

He wept and pleaded.

Talking was unfruitful.

The weight was unbearable.

“How long must I have sorrow all the day?” he prayed.

She laughed and squealed.

There was no turning back, why would she?

Finding comfort in her control,

“Why would I stop? I have what I want.” she replied.

His soul grieved, the pain was crushing.

The situation bedeviled him.

Seeking answers, he looked high and low.

His eyes soaked the sheets, “Consider and answer me, O LORD my God!!”

The day arrived. She was so happy!

The hunt was complete.

Talons were deep, she was oblivious.

Roaring was deafening, the prize was savored.

The beast threatened him too, so he kept his distance.

Unable to protect her, he was weary from the fight.

He had done all he could.

“Father I have trusted in your steadfast love.” he prayed.

She looked into his eyes.

He looked into hers.

The bond was strong but the distance was growing.

“Let me go. I have what I want” she said.

Through his tears he said, “Father forgive her she doesn’t know what she is doing!”

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In

it says that in Christ we are a new creation. How does that happen? Seriously, what are the mechanics of that? I’m not trying to be facetious here but how exactly does that happen? What things do I DO to become a new creation?

The fact is that I have very little to do with it. The Bible says that people must believe in Jesus and put their faith in him. To many that sentence means little and admittedly is often flippantly tossed around in church-world with the words “believe” and “faith” being rarely explained.

At the risk of reducing believing and faith to a simplistic explanation, people must trust in Jesus above anyone else and above everything else. Okay I did it again, trust has to now be defined. This trust we must have in Jesus is not like eating a sandwich and trusting that it will nourish your body. The fact that it does will not take much trust on your part and is pretty easy to believe. This trust in Jesus is more like trusting a rope while repelling off a 100ft cliff, or like trusting a parachute and believing it will open in time, or for some, much more like when a child jumps off a stair into their fathers arms. Whatever analogy you want to use, this trust is complete in that if what you are trusting in fails, your life is gone. Most of these analogies breakdown because eventually, you can stop trusting.

But this where it gets hard. It’s pretty hard to not trust in things and people and I still am not sure how I become “a new creation”. This is where God comes in and does what only he can.

I don’t know a lot but I know I can’t keep a sustaining trust/belief/faith in Jesus without God’s help. I’m just not that good. I also know I can’t become a new creation. I just don’t know how. Thankfully verse 18 says that “all of this is from God through Jesus”. Lots of people don’t like the word but this really is a supernatural event and it is how God reconciled us to himself.

God has made us (Christians) new and it is a work only he can do so let’s not pretend that we can then take it off or that the Gospel is just a governor to restrict what we can or cannot do. If the Gospel was just a governor and I could do what I please up to a certain point, I’m pretty sure I could make a mess out of things in about 3 seconds flat.

We cannot take off the Gospel in a vain attempt to stop being ambassadors for Christ. The Gospel can no more be taken off than you can take off your skin. Skin is vital to your body and the Gospel is vital to your soul. Attempting to take it off and on is abuse to the highest degree.

The apostle Paul finishes the chapter with very fitting words: “We are ambassadors for Christ, God making his appeal through us. We implore you on behalf of Christ, be reconciled to God. For our sake he made him to be sin who knew no sin, so that in him we might become the righteousness of God.”

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We got to the middle of the mall and then of course had to retrace our steps to visit the boys room. As we headed back to the middle of the mall again, Brayden was skipping along the different color and sizes of tiles. He is a boy for sure.

I was grinning watching him and then looked up and of course had the window of Vicky C’s staring down at me. It was soft porn. There is no other name for it. Call me a prude but it is one of the reasons why I don’t like going to the mall.

So as I bounced my eyes away, I quickly look at Brayden to see what he is looking at. And wouldn’t you know, he was still skipping and hopping around and totally oblivious to the mostly naked woman staring down at us.

There is a part of me that wishes these days would never end.

P.S. He liked the Hurricane booth but it was waaay short and not enough wind.

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