It’s true, I think words can be cheap. Kinda ironic coming from someone who likes to write. But my subtitle applies to me too.

I have said this to several people lately but then I have wondered if I should have explained myself.

You see, I can say lots of things. And anyone who knows me knows that I do. But this goes for everyone. You can say things all day long. But if you don’t back them up with action? Fuggedaboutit.

People can say they care, that they love you, that they wish you well. But if their actions say otherwise, they are simply giving you lip service and really that is just a nice way to say they are lying to you.

On the other hand, if you never say some words, it can cheapen your actions. If I never say the words “I love you” to my wife, I’m going to have problems. Quickly. But again, I can’t say I love her and then never spend any time with her, never think about her and never serve her.

My point is you and I need both. And we need to do both.

God has done both. He has told us he loved us. And then he backed it up with the sacrifice of his Son. Words and action. You might not like it that God loves you but you might as well face the reality* and you can deny it but that doesn’t make it less true.

The same goes for us. Use words and then prove your words with actions. Make them reality. If you don’t, you just have cheap words.

(*taken from a sermon from Matt Chandler)

So it should come be no big shock to people that know me that I think children need two parents to grow up healthy. God made Adam, then Eve and that pattern of a man and a wife is upheld a lot in the Bible.

Well reality happens and given that people are sinful by nature, parents get divorced. People of all circles, of all backgrounds, rich people, poor people. I’m not saying it is good or that it should happen, just that it does.

Inevitably, the kids involved get stuck. Sometimes the parents get told by the judge what to do and they are stuck too. It gets messy quick like. Many times there are no good answers and especially no happy answers.

But given all that, I want to point out something quite ridiculous: who in their right mind thought up the current custody guidelines? Let’s see, to help kids have a stable life, lets toss them between households on the weekends, or every other weekend, and also every other holiday. Oh  yeah, and 9 weeks in the summer too. Switch back and forth. Fair to everyone that way.

Huh???  What quack came up with that? Again, I recognize that people land in the current setup and have no choice. My own background is a testament of some of that. But still, why does anyone think that is a good idea?

I wonder, if you took puppies and did that ping pong thing what the outcome would be? Yes many would be okay and live good decent lives. And just like kids, many would also be very scarred for their entire lives.

Call me crazy, but it seems very, very ridiculous.

He saw it coming.

Way back from the beginning he dreaded it.

He tried to ward it off but couldn’t stop.

Desperately he cried out, “How long oh Lord?”

Deliberately and decisively she picked and chose.

She ran to it with glee.

The prowl had been successful.

“I’m finally in charge”, she exclaimed.

He wept and pleaded.

Talking was unfruitful.

The weight was unbearable.

“How long must I have sorrow all the day?” he prayed.

She laughed and squealed.

There was no turning back, why would she?

Finding comfort in her control,

“Why would I stop? I have what I want.” she replied.

His soul grieved, the pain was crushing.

The situation bedeviled him.

Seeking answers, he looked high and low.

His eyes soaked the sheets, “Consider and answer me, O LORD my God!!”

The day arrived. She was so happy!

The hunt was complete.

Talons were deep, she was oblivious.

Roaring was deafening, the prize was savored.

The beast threatened him too, so he kept his distance.

Unable to protect her, he was weary from the fight.

He had done all he could.

“Father I have trusted in your steadfast love.” he prayed.

She looked into his eyes.

He looked into hers.

The bond was strong but the distance was growing.

“Let me go. I have what I want” she said.

Through his tears he said, “Father forgive her she doesn’t know what she is doing!”

When I was a kid I was taught in church that these things were sinful but as a thinking adult I see things differently. In no particular order, I am unable to find these sins in the Bible:

  • All drinking
  • Using different translations other than the KJV
  • All swearing (even reading the word H**l in the Bible was done with TONS of hesitancy)
  • Music with guitars and drums (even if it was “Christian”)
  • Going to movies (but not renting or buying movies)
  • Playing cards
  • Not going to church on Wednesday and twice on Sunday
  • Mowing the grass on Sundays
  • Work of any kind on Sundays
  • Not wearing a shirt and tie to church
  • Wearing jeans to church
  • Guys with hair past their ears or collars
  • Tattoos and piercings

These things I now find ridiculous and actually hilarious that they were taught or implied. Can you add to this list?

Oh, and thank Jeff for the inspiration to write this.

Last week my son was at a friend’s house for the afternoon.  Now both of them are 7ish so they are young, mostly innocent and decent kids (I think so at least).

This was the first time Bradyen had been to this friend’s house and at some point in the afternoon, they decided to go look at a couple of forts in the woods. Sounds like a good boy thing to do to me.

I’m not sure about the friend but Brayden doesn’t exactly come from a long line of outdoorsy types.  I mean,  we love being outside, love the water but we are not boyscouts, hunters, backpackers, mountain climbers, spelunkers, deep sea fishermen, Iiditarod-ites…you get the picture.

So when Brayden and his friend got turned around and subsequently lost in the woods, he could not look at the sun and determine the right direction to go nor did he have any matches to light a fire to send up smoke signals.  I already told you why he couldn’t rub sticks together to make fire.

What to do then?  Run.  Like any good man, go fast so that even if you are lost, you get there in a hurry.  Some where in that process Brayden kissed a tree and cut his chin.  Legend_of_the_Lost_Woods_by_The_World_of_Hyrule

They finally made it out of the woods and into a subdivision.  But not the one where this friend lived.

Now here is the dilemma:  You are lost, confused, scared, shedding a few tears…and 7.  You are not supposed to talk to strangers or get in strange cars. But you are lost.

Brayden and his friend found someone to ask for help but get this:  This guy sent two 7 years olds on their way without helping them!  Incredible.  That still makes me angry. The next guy was much more helpful though he had to figure out directions from a 7 year old’s crazy directions.  He took them home.  In his truck.

I was thankful that they got home.  I really was.  But I freaked a little when I heard Brayden say they got in this guy’s truck.

This story has a good ending:  both boys got home safe and sound. It was an adventure that neither will forget.

While it’s unlikely the story would have ended any other way, we are very aware that it is not the only possible outcome.

Weep
Pronunciation: \wēp\Function: verb
1 : to express deep sorrow for usually by shedding tears
2 : to pour forth (tears) from the eyes

Okay so it’s not very manly to admit that you weep nor is it usually good for an ego. Many guys will go to great lengths to hide any tears in order to avoid being seen as soft or “in touch with their feminine side”. True many have not really had an occasion so tough in life that weeping was needed or wanted. And let’s be honest, guys if you weep over your TV going out or your lawn mower not starting, you might very well be a sissy. Ladies, if you weep because of a bad hair cut or a broken nail that “just started growing out”, you will be called emotional and touchy.

For me, I have had some occasions in my life that have warranted weeping. It’s not something you really set out to do though. You don’t get up one day say to yourself, “today I think I will weep”. If you do, you might have other problems. It does however sneak up on you and overtake you. You might get a moment’s notice or zero notice. But make no mistake, you will know when it comes. It will consume you for a time and leave you drained. Sometimes you might feel better afterwards, most times you will be left with a knot in your stomach.

It has been one of those years for me so far. How about you, have you had an occasion to weep?

As He was pulled closer to the inevitable
He asked that it be taken away to avoid the pain
Yet it wasn’t to be, it was coming.
As it came closer to Her, she ran towards it;
She embraced it and asked for it to come.
He was wondering, what is going on?

Talking, praying, emotional outcries
All seemed to ebb and flow together,
Nothing make a lot of sense, no clear direction came.
He asked and asked but it did not come
She jumped in wholeheartedly, with both feet.

He sought and searched, fought and talked.
Sleep was hard, living was harder, the inevitable was coming.
What was the way to go?
Where was the clear direction?
He pleaded with God but it was not coming.

She hung out, stayed out, gave out
With those who would not look after her soul.
Some did say, you’re moving too fast
But She said, who are you to tell me that.
He was wondering, what is going on?

It was more than a few days and weeks in the making.
Seeking advice months in advance was his way.
The pressure on his soul was building and He knew.
The choices became few, He felt caught, but knew.
Which way to go? How do you make hard life choices?

She was hurt deeply and profoundly.
Determined that it would not happen again
She went in a different direction,
She went down a different path
Where she could live life like the rest.

It finally came to Him. It was clear.
The talking was over, the pressure was gone.
The hurt would heal because God was clear.
It would not be understood by many
Yet by those by whom He had sought council from
They were filled with love, grace, and mercy.

She committed to this new path and was proud.
Council was not sought or wanted but rather shunned.
Pursuit of herself was clear, the future seemed bright.
Pride swelled, devastation loomed,
The hunt of her was on.

She was outwardly confident and sure.
He agonized, prayed, talked and fought.
But she would not, could not listen.
It would mean giving up, turning over
Control, to which She fought for and sought for.

God was so clear before, yet his pain with her
Continued, prolonged, and was steadfast.
How long would it last? What would be the scars?

He sought and searched, fought and talked.
Sleep was hard, living was harder, his joy
Was in danger and needed pursuing.
God said “I am here, have joy in me.”

Love, grace and mercy he knew
She needed yet it was not always
What came first, second, or third,
Though he prayed and sought.

His love never waivers, his pursuit of her is strong.
His prayers are fervent and continuous;
Thoughts swarm around him at all times.
He will not give up or shut up
Until it is clear, that God is finished.
Until then, he pleads for favor for Her
Like favor was shown Him.

I have been bothered a lot lately about the lack of grace in my own life and in people I come in contact with. Lack of grace leads to being dogmatic about issues that many times are preferences.  It also also leads people to being judgmental towards others instead of showing them love.  Lack of grace produces pride and self-righteousness and results in being a cancer to people and churches.

So read the below and see how many you either identify with or maybe that you once would.  These are some of the ones I have found myself in over the years.  Some of these are church related and others are more individual.

Where is grace…

if you cringe or have any condescending thoughts about certain “types” of songs being sung in church.

if you have condescending thoughts towards people who don’t go to a certain number of church services each week (or at all).

if you think people can’t come to church in jeans…or in a suit or a dress.

if you look down on people that go to movies or rent movies.

Where is grace…

if you think condemning thoughts towards people who smoke or drink.

if you eagerly speak out against homosexuality but never on gluttony or pride.

if you cringe or have condescending thoughts at the NIV being read from the pulpit.

if you think that every church should have drums…or an organ.

if would not want to associate yourself with anyone from a different denomination.

Where is grace…

when you think SINNER! when you see someone mowing the grass on Sunday.

when your first reaction to people is to think negatively about what they are doing or how they look.

when you think poorly of people who work on Sundays.

when you think more highly of yourself because you don’t do things that others might do.

when you think you are never wrong and everyone else is.

when you are more concerned about the words that come out of someone’s mouth instead of the hurt coming out of their heart.

I really don’t think God is impressed with how good I think I can be. I mean, let’s be real.  There are not good people and bad people in this world but rather all of us sinners and then Jesus.  Is God impressed that I only go 5 miles over the speed limit compared to you who does 8?  Ridiculous.  Instead, let love be genuine. Abhor what is evil; hold fast to what is good. Love one another with brotherly affection. Outdo one another in showing honor. Outdo each other?  Really?  Seriously?

I honestly fear many are conformed to a pattern of religion but are never transformed.  Let’s be filled with amazing grace and not self-righteousness.

Ephesians 2:4-10

But [1] God, being rich in mercy, because of the great love with which he loved us, even when we were dead in our trespasses, made us alive together with Christ—by grace you have been saved— and raised us up with him and seated us with him in the heavenly places in Christ Jesus, so that in the coming ages he might show the immeasurable riches of his grace in kindness toward us in Christ Jesus. For by grace you have been saved through faith. And this is not your own doing; it is the gift of God, not a result of works, so that no one may boast. 10 For we are his workmanship, created in Christ Jesus for good works, which God prepared beforehand, that we should walk in them. (ESV)

Footnotes

[1] 2:4 Or And

So I totally ripped this off from DeadlyViper but I really dig it.  Let me know if you like it too.

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I was listening to a guy speak recently and he stated that in a very short period of time knowledge known to one generation is lost and can quickly turn into denial in the next generations.

You see, in the business world, employees are trained and then expected to follow the training. As time passes, it is easy to assume that everyone knows what you are talking about and business goes about as normal. Very quickly though, people forget and new people come aboard who do not know. Pretty soon there are whole groups of people who have no idea what the definition of anything is and some will completely deny that certain truths do in fact exist.

The same holds true in churches. In as little as 2-3 generations, whole lines of families can deny foundational truths to faith. In just a few short years, large pockets of people attending churches can forget and deny doctrinal truths and then the work is hampered and hindered.

So how do you prevent this pattern from happening? To some degree, I think it is human nature and inevitable. But honestly, that is just a cop-out for doing nothing. Instead, have a laser like focus and keep pounding things into people. If you are a business, keep the vision in the forefront of people at all times. Have consistent training and always link it to the vision. Make sure that the employees always know how what they do impacts the business. Never assume people are on board, make sure they are.

For churches, it’s much the same way. At some point most people knew many, many things. If certain biblical terms were used, most people knew exactly what was being said. Doctrine could be articulated and defended. But time never stand stills and over time the tendency to assume that people know things creates complacency. If the leaders assume that everyone knows doctrine, there is a real danger of de-emphasizing doctrine. Once it is assumed that people know many things, those things may no longer be taught.Assume NOTHING!

The fact is that many people may not know the definition of anything any more and are possibly very ignorant. The decline starts when people forget foundational truths and consequently they begin to deny those truths because they never owned them in the first place. And just so we are clear, just because people don’t know the truth doesn’t mean there is a void. Voids don’t exist.

The take home here is to NEVER assume that people know what you want them to know. About anything. In fact, churches need to teach and preach knowing that most people DON’T know and that some DO deny. Teach people knowing that there are large groups of people that cannot articulate the Gospel clearly. Know that there are many people that do not serve Jesus but rather serve themselves.

I know I have been guilty of assuming way too much.  How much do you assume?

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