Matt Lane

Words are cheap (but still say them)

Jun 252010

It’s true, I think words can be cheap. Kinda ironic coming from someone who likes to write. But my subtitle applies to me too.

I have said this to several people lately but then I have wondered if I should have explained myself.

You see, I can say lots of things. And anyone who knows me knows that I do. But this goes for everyone. You can say things all day long. But if you don’t back them up with action? Fuggedaboutit.

People can say they care, that they love you, that they wish you well. But if their actions say otherwise, they are simply giving you lip service and really that is just a nice way to say they are lying to you.

On the other hand, if you never say some words, it can cheapen your actions. If I never say the words “I love you” to my wife, I’m going to have problems. Quickly. But again, I can’t say I love her and then never spend any time with her, never think about her and never serve her.

My point is you and I need both. And we need to do both.

God has done both. He has told us he loved us. And then he backed it up with the sacrifice of his Son. Words and action. You might not like it that God loves you but you might as well face the reality* and you can deny it but that doesn’t make it less true.

The same goes for us. Use words and then prove your words with actions. Make them reality. If you don’t, you just have cheap words.

(*taken from a sermon from Matt Chandler)

I still hate all things chick flicks

Christian Living No Responses »

Dec 262009

I still hate all chick flick movies, soaps, most sitcoms and chick flick books. I already posted about this once and really nothing has changed. While I’m on this rant, I really don’t like most movies aimed at young kids. I lump those movies in the same bucket as chick flicks.

What is it that I can’t stand? The constant bombardment of the fairly tale love story. It’s everywhere and many times it’s the whole point of the movie/tv show/book. And really, that is the last thing I want my kids (no matter how old) to learn from Hollywood and the entertainment biz. The boyfriend & girlfriend junk in kids stuff might only be there subtlety but go ahead and look for it. It’s there. I mean really, why does kid stuff have to have a romantic angle to it? I can’t stand it. So count how many movies are completely absent of it. Count how many movies where the love story is more than just a bit part. I bet you are surprised. head-in-the-sand

I think that most Christians have their heads in the sand on this issue. Yes that is harsh. Flame away. But tell me, how many Christians follow the same dating & marriage model that is pushed on them from all the media? I think the percentages are high. Way high. And in case you have missed it, the model does not begin with God and have a foundation of making Jesus king in every area of your life. Why do we want to model our lives on anything but biblical values? I fear that so many want to have both; the fairy tale love story and then mix in some spirituality. I’ve seen how that ends too many times. Oh, and don’t get me started on how bad most Christians date. I posted about that already too.

Okay so I know I am making HUGE generalizations here and I will leave some wiggle room for the exceptions. There are some. I don’t think I am way off in left field though. And I’m not defending guy movies as there can be just as much junk in them (like Transformers 2). I just think people have a lot harder time distinguishing between real life and chick flick love stories. It’s just not that hard to blur real life with a multimillion dollar love story production created to tug at people’s hearts at just the right spot.The message gets absorbed knowingly or not and it is influencing everyone exactly as designed. Relationships are not better because of it. Most of this leads to dissatisfaction in relationships. It’s pretty tough to live up to a Hollywood story.

Do you agree or do you think I’m nuts? And what is the answer? Really I’m not pushing for boycotts. I would be lying though if I said I wasn’t pushing for people to be much more choosy. And to be conscious of what is going in their brains which inevitably impacts their hearts.

P.S. I saw Avatar the other day and while the 3D technology was incredible and the special effects stunning, I could have done without the love story sub-plot in it. Just trying to be consistent here.

People that I never thought that mattered

Christian Living No Responses »

Dec 222009

Here is a partial list of people I have at some point in my life put in the bucket of “People that I never thought that mattered”…

Waitress/Waiters especially when they check in too little or too much
Fast food cashier/drive thru person
People driving that I think should not be
Telemarketers
Unhelpful sales person (you pick the store)
Gas station cashier
Person serving you $4 coffee
Anyone I want to call stupid, ignorant, moron or jerk

I listened to a sermon from Matt Chandler a few weeks back and he made a statement along the lines of “their souls matter so act like it”. That stuck. What do you think?

Half The Bible Does Not Have Jesus

Bible, Christian Living, god 2 Responses »

Dec 142009

Actually if you are counting books, there are 39 that do not mention Jesus. And if you just look at content, it is almost 70% of the Bible that does not have anything to do with Jesus. Or that is what many believe.

How many times have you heard the stories of the Old Testament but never heard them connected to Jesus? Okay maybe once or twice as an adult MAYBE. So how about when kids are taught? Almost never and it just kills me.

Too many times Old Testament stories are taught as great moralistic events that we should internalize as examples to learn things from. They are taught disconnected from the New Testament and unrelated to Jesus and have little redemptive value. Most of the time they are presented as random stories that might or might not be historical but are fun to read because they are entertaining. Murder, sex and money. It’s all in there. OT4dummies

Truth is, there is a metanarrative. As one pastor says, some people fit the Bible “… somewhere in between Aesop’s fables and Joseph Campbell’s myths. But Christians don’t believe that. We believe the Bible is the metanarrative. It is the overarching story under which all of history is to be understood and interpreted. We reject reducing the Bible to yet another good story. It’s the story of who God is, what God has done, what we have done, and what God has done to save us.”

If you don’t teach and preach Jesus, you are just another religious zealot trying to hopelessly convince people they need to stop doing certain things and to do other things better. If that is you, cut it out. Don’t leave Jesus out of the Old Testament. Or the New Testament for that matter. (Yes I have heard that done too).

Without Jesus, we have nothing and conversely Jesus is everything. I want to do and say nothing that tries to proves that otherwise.

Life, Love & Miracles (part 3)

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Nov 192009

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Our relationship really moved to a whole new level when Amber moved in with us after graduating from high school. Autumn moved in a little over a year ago. Another memorable event was when I drove Amber down to college for her first year. It’s funny, I remember telling Melissa she was going to do it the next time because it was too hard for me to dump my kid 1100 miles away and leave. This coming year though we look forward to celebrating graduations for both of them. While I throw that out as a simple one line sentence, don’t lose the magnitude of those two events.

So how do you inject two girls into your lives and do it well? I have no idea. I don’t think you can.
We didn’t plan on it but God certainly moved us along a path. That’s the miracle part. We are not that good and we are not that special. I am constantly reminded of how little I know and how much I do not control. One thing I know is that our bond is strong and our well of love is deep. Sounds mushy but it’s God given and God sustained.

It has been an incredible journey with them and in many ways we have only just begun. I would not change the journey for anything. I cannot believe I get to be part of their lives! I often wonder why God picked us for this whole thing. We often feel rather inadequate and unequipped but we don’t question the fact that our hearts are knit together

Most of all, today I am proud to call them family, specifically daughters. I told them both recently, it is a short list. There are only five names on the kid list and they are on it. They are on the list. You don’t just get on that list and you don’t just get off it. That list is controlled by God and because he is full of love, mercy and grace, he put us all together. And I am forever grateful.

lanes on the rocks

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Life, Love & Miracles (part 2)

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Nov 182009

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As our relationship grew, the trust they had in us also grew. Many times they would call us in the middle of the night when things didn’t go quite right at home. Even in those early years we had tears for them and through them our bond became stronger.

I personally got to play a bigger role when I picked Autumn and Amber up every day for school one semester. semi I knew that they did not attend every day and really wanted to encourage them to go. So during that fall semester I made sure they at least got to school. They didn’t always stay but at least I knew they got there. The next semester of that year we allowed Amber to drive our spare car and so she then drove them both to school after that. Previous to that we got to teach Amber how to drive and put her through driver’s training. Why is it that she always liked to hug semis?!?!?! I think that was the beginning of my gray hair.

Together we have shared many life moments. From parent teacher conferences to the births of all three of our younger kids. We took them both to camp. We celebrated with Amber when she graduated from high school. When we got the news of the death of Melissa’s brother, they were with us.

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Life, Love & Miracles

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Nov 182009

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5 kids. If you would have told me 10 years ago I would have 5 kids I would have said you were on crack. But here I am in 2009 with 5 kids. And it’s incredible.

I have never really written publicly about our experience and I am very conscious of Jesus’ words in Matthew chapter 6. That being said, I think there is room to brag on God and to tell a story of life, love and miracles.

This is the story of how God brought two young girls into our lives and how our lives have never been the same since. Oh, and this is the short version.

Our relationship with Amber and Autumn began over 9 years ago. Honestly we were not looking to begin a relationship with them but God in his sovereignty brought our paths together and planted a love for them in us even back then. rotary-phone

It all began with a phone call from another family asking us if we could pick the two of them up for church on a Wednesday night. At the time we were youth leaders and without kids so we quickly agreed. It’s amazing to me to think what impact that one phone call has had.

After that first call we picked them up almost every Wednesday for youth group and then over time we began picking them up for Sunday church services as well. Honestly in our minds it wasn’t this great thing we were doing; we were simply providing rides to a couple of girls who wanted to come to church.

Our picking them up on Wednesdays soon turned into them coming over for dinner most weeks and many times this included friends of theirs. It was not unusual for us to have several teenagers around our table week in and week out. During these times, we had great conversations and got to know them well. Our conversations would pick back up on the rides home and it was not too long until they started confiding in us about their home life. Over the years it was also not unusual for the girls to spend the night at our house during weekends so that they could attend church and not have to get up so early.

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If God makes mistakes I’m done with him

Bible, Christian Living, god 3 Responses »

Oct 202009

I really mean that. If God is surprised one day and says “CRAP, what did they do!??!?!?” I’m done with him. If my God has any “Oh crap” days, he would not be God but he would be a god and then I’m out.

Now some of you might be offended with all that but so be it. mistakes

I have had several conversations with people lately that make me believe that some Christians don’t believe in the fact that God is in control. The big churchy word that scares some is sovereignty. God is absolutely sovereign over everything. If he isn’t sovereign, I’m out. I’m done.

Thankfully Creator God is still in control and does not make mistakes. Ever. God is holy, just and a mistake maker? No. If you add to God’s character you now have a god. Don’t make up gods. Don’t do it.

Unlike God, I have made a few mistakes. In fact I’m pretty sure I made some today. How about you?

7 and Lost in the Woods

Blurbs 5 Responses »

Oct 032009

Last week my son was at a friend’s house for the afternoon. Now both of them are 7ish so they are young, mostly innocent and decent kids (I think so at least).

This was the first time Bradyen had been to this friend’s house and at some point in the afternoon, they decided to go look at a couple of forts in the woods. Sounds like a good boy thing to do to me.

I’m not sure about the friend but Brayden doesn’t exactly come from a long line of outdoorsy types. I mean, we love being outside, love the water but we are not boyscouts, hunters, backpackers, mountain climbers, spelunkers, deep sea fishermen, Iiditarod-ites…you get the picture.

So when Brayden and his friend got turned around and subsequently lost in the woods, he could not look at the sun and determine the right direction to go nor did he have any matches to light a fire to send up smoke signals. I already told you why he couldn’t rub sticks together to make fire.

What to do then? Run. Like any good man, go fast so that even if you are lost, you get there in a hurry. Some where in that process Brayden kissed a tree and cut his chin. Legend_of_the_Lost_Woods_by_The_World_of_Hyrule

They finally made it out of the woods and into a subdivision. But not the one where this friend lived.

Now here is the dilemma: You are lost, confused, scared, shedding a few tears…and 7. You are not supposed to talk to strangers or get in strange cars. But you are lost.

Brayden and his friend found someone to ask for help but get this: This guy sent two 7 years olds on their way without helping them! Incredible. That still makes me angry. The next guy was much more helpful though he had to figure out directions from a 7 year old’s crazy directions. He took them home. In his truck.

I was thankful that they got home. I really was. But I freaked a little when I heard Brayden say they got in this guy’s truck.

This story has a good ending: both boys got home safe and sound. It was an adventure that neither will forget.

While it’s unlikely the story would have ended any other way, we are very aware that it is not the only possible outcome.

Dating has been hijacked by the devil

Christian Living 3 Responses »

Aug 202009

Let’s shatter a myth shall we?

What is the purpose of dating? Society will tell you that it is to find a soul mate. People will tell you it is to test the waters and to learn how life works. Some people will even go as far to say you need experience before you get married and you are stupid if you don’t have any experience. Still others will ridicule you and pressure you to date. What I want to say is that it is all bunk, a myth.

Movies, TV and print media all work together to present this false idea that people have to repeatedly give parts of their hearts out in order to find “the one”. If you think the collusion is not real, think again. They all make billions of dollars perpetuating this idea. If they would allow the idea to die out, they lose money. I’m not joking, this is about money, never forget that. Sure it is how many people believe but don’t be fooled, there are better ways but those ways don’t make people money and in the end, money rules.

The collusion between different media outlets (movies, tv, print) is worth a discussion all by itself but I will spare you the details now. Suffice to say that most people do not know they are being influenced to act a certain way and just swallow what is fed to them, hook, line and sinker. The influence is real, devastating and many times deadly. dating

Okay so what do I think of dating? I believe that God has set some things up very clearly in scriptures. Because of being raised with Christ we are to guard ourselves from certain physical acts (Col 3:1-17), become imitators of God (Eph 5:1) and to worship God alone (Luke 4:7-9). It is so difficult to do those things when you have boy/girlfriend after boy/girlfriend. I have never seen anyone keep God’s commandments and have these relationships as the world defines them. It really is impossible. The two clash because they start from two so very different foundations. God’s foundation is that we are to worship him with every part of our body, our heart and our soul. The world’s foundation is to worship yourself and do what you think is best and what benefits you the most. The two could not be farther from each other.

So dating is then not an end to itself. It cannot be. Dating awakes passions and desires that are meant for marriage alone. Giving out so much of yourself before marriage sets you up for years of hardships. Dating then is a process to confirm someone is a potential marriage partner. Yes I really mean that. Dating is a precursor to marriage and not for teenagers to experience life with. I do not believe that people should date until they are ready for marriage. Dating without marriage in mind is exactly what the media wants you to believe it is: Live for the moment because you deserve to have someone to spend some time with and you deserve to have your needs fulfilled. God says, I gave you my son, why is that not enough, why are you rejecting me? It boils down to a worship problem. An idolatry problem. Commandment number one.

The bottom line is this: Dating under the framework that God has ordained is incredible. Dating outside his framework leads to heartache after heartache because it requires you to give out your heart too many times and God never intended for that to happen. Dating has been hijacked by the devil and people of all types are living lives with horrific consequences.

Call me old fashion, a throwback, chauvinistic, a cave man, whatever. If our goal as Christians is to live Christ-like, shouldn’t that apply to dating as well?